Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize