he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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