So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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