weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
