You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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