I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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