I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
