another moral hangover. fuck.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I could fuck to npr.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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