pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The adults are the big ones right?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
