dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
