Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
