i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
