Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize