I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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