omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
