the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
