how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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