Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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