Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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