i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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