Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
