I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
