dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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