So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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