So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
