I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
