Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
