he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
