I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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