I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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