ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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