Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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