We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
