yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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