Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
