I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
