That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
