she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
