How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
