I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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