Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
