Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
