You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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