it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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