Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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