i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
