Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have post one night stand depression
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
