I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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