I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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