): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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