So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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