Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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