he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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