I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
we're so committed to being not committed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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