I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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