stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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