I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
