also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
