where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
