What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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